On April 24th, WiPN hosted the first in this year’s Fearless You! A Year of Courageous Conversations webinar series. Over 100 WiPN members tuned in for the inaugural members-only webinar to hear Melissa Briggs-Phillips, PhD. talk about how improving our GRIT (Gratitude, Resilience, Intention and Toughness) can help us succeed in all aspects of life – career, personal relationships, and outside goals.
Melissa’s background is in trauma therapy. What do trauma survivors and successful people have in common? During her work with trauma survivors, Melissa identified several traits that made some people trauma thrivers. Melissa thought to herself, what if I can teach these skills (you guessed it: gratitude, resilience, intention and toughness) to those who haven’t survived a trauma? What could their success look like?
During the webinar, Melissa defined each of these traits and shared powerful and insightful examples of how we can put these into practice every day. Melissa defined GRATITUDE as a “polite way of getting over yourself,” and not being self-involved when things aren’t going your way. Melissa shared that people who are mindful and take time to show appreciation met their goals faster and were more successful. So the next time someone helps you or does a great job, take the time to demonstrate appreciation – and be specific! Specific appreciation will get you more mileage. In return, if someone shows you gratitude, accept it and do not diminish it – and if another women diminishes her contributions when you express gratitude – call her on it!
Do you focus on what you’ve done wrong in the past, or that you have failed? Melissa’s advice is to accept it, move on, and keep moving forward. “Behave forward.” A failure is one point in time, and it’s not the whole story. RESILIENCY is built from continuously moving forward, and not focusing on the problems and recognizing that they are not permanent. As women, we may have internal barriers that keep us from moving forward. Women value authenticity, and when it conflicts with the politics in the office, we must acknowledge that we are we are not being inauthentic, but rather, we are being strategic.
Do you know your why? Do you state it clearly? Expressing your INTENTION is more powerful than expressing your goals. Why do you do the work you do? Is it to provide for yourself and your family, or is it to feel a sense of accomplishment? Perhaps it’s both of these things and more. Melissa suggests that you select a word to set your intention at the beginning of each year – this word should capture how you’d like to frame the year – for example, dare, venture, recalibrate, etc. Then live each day with that intention in mind to align yourself with your goals.
Can you learn TOUGHNESS? Think of the toughest person you know – what was it they did to make them tough? Toughness is simply learning to tolerate anxiety. Learn how to identify your emotions and take control of them – don’t let them control you.
When we take all these traits and learn to hone them, we can thrive in every aspect of our life, and we can be fearless and courageous. With an affable tone, Melissa delivered content, personal stories, and an easy to implement action plan in just under one hour. If you haven’t seen it, take the time to watch the replay and download her presentation!